Damn, we had Berklee's head referral and he suggests doing a helmet. With his trained eye he can see a difference in her ears and the back of her head. But, I guess without a trained eye you can see the difference in the back of her head. I am trying to be OK with this.
This is how I feel...
Irritated- that they pushed our appointment back a month, she would already be wearing it now, had they not rescheduled us. And the specialist said it's a rush to get it on her before her next big growth spurt at 9 months; tomorrow she will be 8 months and we haven't been fitted yet.
Sad- that she has to wear one. She is only 8 months so she won't know if anyone is looking at her funny or snickering at her, but I will; and it will break my heart.
Guilty- This is the one I struggle with the most. Is it my fault that her head is flat on the left side? Did I not hold her enough? Let her nap too long? Take her to too many places in her car seat? I am a stay at home mom, and her head is flat. Did I not do enough? GUILT. We purposely placed objects/toys to the right of her so she would have to lay that way, we did physical therapy and stretches, we positioned her differently in her crib, even tried supervised tummy naps. When I say "we" I mean mostly "I". I feel like I failed her.
I also feel guilty because I do not want everyone to see her in a helmet. My beautiful baby is going to have to wear a bulky unattractive accessory. It is a total vanity thing, and that makes me feel super guilty. I know things can be worse and I am grateful it is just a cosmetic issue. I am fighting through this guilt and working on getting over it. She will still be adorable and it isn't my fault (allegedly).
Her fitting is in 5 days. We should get the helmet about 2 weeks after that. Just this week she started pulling off her hats and headbands. This helmet will be an adjustment for both of us.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Here comes the sun...
Finally! Not only is the sun making his way into our lives again, but he is bringing his friend-warmth! Oh how I have missed their sweet kisses on my face. This winter was a long one. UFFDA! In my 29 years of life I have probably dreaded winter for 20 of them. But this year I not only dreaded winter, I cursed it. I know it had to do with having a baby and being cooped inside. We were not shut ins, we went out and about and did weekly outings. But it wasn't with a smile on my face. Bundling the baby up so she was a lump of material with a face is not my cup of tea. But we made it through. It is close to the middle of March and this week (not so coincidently, the week we should be in AZ*high five God*) has and will be in the high 60's. What a refreshing blessing it is to be able to enjoy the outdoors again. Welcome to the sound of chirping birds, kids screaming and laughing, and the warmth of Mother Nature giving you a hug Berks! Even though I am still sad we are not with gma and ggma, my mood has improved.
Along with admiring the disappearing winter, I admire single parents. Matt and I both had the flu for 24 hours (him puking all day, I just had body aches and chills). He was in bed all day and because he was worse off I was, I was in charge of Berks. I felt like a bad mom. I did the necessities: feedings, changings, and naps. But in between those I laid on the couch and watched her play on the floor-alone. I wanted so badly to take a nap or give her to Matt. We even called reinforcements, but they were also sick. It was so hard to do the daily tasks. And that night she just happened to have a terrible night. Waking up every hour for 6 hours. We took her temp and she did not have a fever and she was acting like she felt OK (thankfully) but it was rough getting up that much after not feeling well. (She ended up getting two teeth the next day). Those of you who do everything and more that your children need, while working or not, and you do it alone; I am amazed by you! Parenting is a challenge and I do not work, I only have one kid, and I have help.
Whatever your situation is, feeling down in the dumps or feeling like your head is barely above water; keep going. You can do this and you are not completely alone. God has your back.
Along with admiring the disappearing winter, I admire single parents. Matt and I both had the flu for 24 hours (him puking all day, I just had body aches and chills). He was in bed all day and because he was worse off I was, I was in charge of Berks. I felt like a bad mom. I did the necessities: feedings, changings, and naps. But in between those I laid on the couch and watched her play on the floor-alone. I wanted so badly to take a nap or give her to Matt. We even called reinforcements, but they were also sick. It was so hard to do the daily tasks. And that night she just happened to have a terrible night. Waking up every hour for 6 hours. We took her temp and she did not have a fever and she was acting like she felt OK (thankfully) but it was rough getting up that much after not feeling well. (She ended up getting two teeth the next day). Those of you who do everything and more that your children need, while working or not, and you do it alone; I am amazed by you! Parenting is a challenge and I do not work, I only have one kid, and I have help.
Whatever your situation is, feeling down in the dumps or feeling like your head is barely above water; keep going. You can do this and you are not completely alone. God has your back.
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